Thanksgiving often highlights themes of gratitude, family, and tradition, but for intended parents navigating surrogacy, this season can carry added emotional layers. You may be balancing hope with uncertainty, excitement with fear, or gratitude with grief. All of that is human. All of that belongs.
This guide offers gentle ways to move through Thanksgiving with compassion, grounding, and acknowledgment for the meaningful journey you’re on.
1. Start With Self-Recognition
Your path to surrogacy likely began long before this season. It may include years of trying, medical challenges, emotional setbacks, or unexpected turns. Through all of that, you’ve continued forward.
Take a moment to acknowledge:
- the strength it took to get here,
- the commitment you continue to show,
- and your willingness to keep believing in the family you’re building.
Recognizing your own resilience isn’t self-indulgent, it’s deserved.
2. Accept That Holidays Can Feel Complicated
Gatherings centered around children or family milestones can be tender. Pregnancy announcements, traditions you hoped to share by now, or repeated questions from relatives may stir up mixed emotions.
It’s okay if:
- gratitude feels complicated,
- joy and sadness coexist,
- or this season feels harder than others.
Nothing about your emotional experience is wrong or unexpected.
3. Notice Small Anchors of Gratitude
Gratitude doesn’t need to be sweeping or profound. Sometimes it’s found in subtle glimpses of progress or support. Consider noticing:
- Steps forward you’ve taken this year
- People; partners, friends, professionals, who have supported you
- Trust and connection building between you and your surrogate
- Hope that continues to guide you, even on difficult days
Small gratitudes can become grounding moments, especially when the bigger picture feels overwhelming.
4. Strengthen Your Connection With Your Surrogate
If you’re matched, Thanksgiving can be a meaningful moment to gently acknowledge your surrogate’s care, dedication, and time. This doesn’t need to be a grand gesture. A simple note or message can go a long way. Something heartfelt, warm, and pressure-free might feel right. Just a small recognition of the role she’s playing in your growing family.
5. Give Yourself Emotional Permission
You don’t need to force positivity or meet holiday expectations. You don’t need to hide how tender this time can be.
Give yourself permission to:
- set boundaries if conversations feel overwhelming,
- take breaks when needed,
- feel hopeful, anxious, excited, or unsure,
- move through the day at your own pace.
Your emotional experience deserves respect, not minimization.
6. Build Quiet Moments Into the Day
Thanksgiving can be busy, loud, or emotionally charged. Finding small moments of stillness may help you stay grounded.
Consider:
- writing a brief note to your future child,
- taking a short walk before or after a meal,
- pausing for a few breaths in a quiet room,
- journaling one thing that helped you stay hopeful this year.
These gentle practices can offer calm without asking you to ignore the complicated parts.
7. Close the Season With Compassion
When the day winds down, let compassion, not pressure, guide your reflections. Gratitude is not a performance. It is something that can exist quietly, even if everything still feels uncertain.
- Offer yourself grace.
- Honor your journey.
- Recognize the depth of what you’re carrying.
This can be a very raw, emotional time; don’t be afraid to lean on your agency for support. They are there to help walk you through all the ups and downs of this journey.